Christmas Party
by KakoimonoMiyu
Summary: What would happen if I threw a Christmas party and invited the main IZ cast, Nny, Devi, and Tenna? Well... this, obviously.
1. Part I: Calls

Christmas Party

DISCLAIMER: Kris belongs to me, 'cause she is me. Akira belongs to herself. Eeeeveryone else belongs to Jhonen Vasquez! Yay! Don't sue me!

Part I: Calls

"WHOO! CHRISTMAS, CHRISTMAS, CHRIIISTMAAAS!!!!!!!!" Kris yelled as she ran down the stairs of her little two-story house and right into the wall at the base of the flight.

Her housemate, Akira, glanced up at her from the magazine she was reading and shook her head, sighing.

"It's not Christmas yet," she said, smirking as Kris came over and sat beside her on the gaudy, over-stuffed red velour couch.

"I know that, but it _is _Christmas Eve... Erm.. Christmas Eve Day… And that means it's time for our Christmas party!!" Kris replied cheerfully.

"Oh no… I'd forgotten about that…" Akira dropped the magazine.

"Yep! I'm gonna go call everybody!"

"But... didn't you send invitations?"

"Sure did! But the mailbox ate them!!" And with that, Kris disappeared into the study.

Akira stared at the closed study door for a moment before going back to her magazine. 

* * *

*RING!* 

"Hm?" Zim looked up from his latest experiment (one that involved peanut butter and lemurs) at the computer screen which was flashing -PHONE- in bright red letters.

"Someone calling me?" he muttered as he boarded the small elevator that would take him to the house-level of his base. 

Gir was sitting about three inches in front of the television screen, watching a Krazy Taco commercial and chewing on an old sock.

Zim glanced at the little robot, his imaginary eyebrow raised as he picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"HII!!!!" came the very loud reply, almost causing Zim to drop the phone.

"Kris? Why are you calling me? I am VERY busy! I have lemurs to make sticky!"

"Sticky lemurs?"

"… Yes."

"… Oh. Anyway, I just called to remind you about my Christmas party! You're coming right?"

"Christmas party? I don't have ti- GIR!!"

Gir, having very acute hearing when he wanted to, had hopped up at the word "party" and snatched the phone from Zim after tackling the Irken in a fit of hyperness.

"Oh course we'll come!" he said happily. "When does it start?!"

"Yay! It starts at five and lasts 'til midnight!"

"Presents?!"

"Yeah, we're gonna exchange some gifts."

"YAY! I want a box!"

"I'll keep that in mind! Don't be late, now! Bye! Tell Zim I said bye!"

"BYE!!"

Gir hung up the phone and grinned cutely at Zim who was brushing himself off.

"Let me guess... You told that weird little stinkbeast girl that we're going to her 'party'."

Gir nodded, his tongue hanging out of his mouth as he sat back down in front of the TV. "It's at fiiiive o'clock!" 

The little android gasped suddenly, getting up again and slipping into his green doggie suit. "WE HAFTA GO BUY PRESENTS!!!"

"Gir, there's no reason to-" But Zim was cut off once again as Gir grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him out the door, fortunately wearing his disguise.

* * *

Dib was up in his room, searching all of his notes on Zim for some inspiration. It was becoming increasingly difficult for him to come up with any good schemes for catching the green-skinned annoyance.

"If there was only some way to combine bees and water…" he muttered to himself.

He heard the phone ring downstairs, but dismissed it, figuring Gaz would get it as soon as it became a distraction from her gaming. He stopped his searching a few seconds later when he heard Gaz's voice. She almost sounded _excited_. There was a rush of footsteps and then a loud knock on the door.

"Dib. Open the door. Now," Gaz said.

_My God,_ Dib thought to himself as he got up to open the door, noting his little sister's anxious tone,_ She _is_ excited about something_

"Yeah?" Dib asked after opening the door to find a wide-eyed Gaz clutching the phone like the thing was life itself.

"Christmas party. Five o'clock. Get dressed, we're going to the mall." She thrust the phone into his hands and went back downstairs to grab her coat.

Dib cautiously put the receiver to his ear. "Hello..?"

"Dibby! You and your sister are coming to my Christmas party!!" came the almost too fast to understand reply.

"… Kris?"

"Don't be late, five sharp! Go buy presents! And egg nog!" *CLICK*

"… Hello? Kris, are you there?" Dib sighed and turned the phone off when he heard the dial tone. 

"Come _on_ Dib!" Gaz called.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," Dib replied as he trudged downstairs. 

* * * 

Johnny stared at the phone in complete disbelief. It was ringing. His phone was ringing. _His_ phone.

He picked it up hesitantly. "Hello?"

"Nny, my bestest friend!"

"… Who is this?"

"Why, Nny, I'm ashamed! Don't even know the voice of your bestest friend… It's Kris!"

"Oh... How'd you get this number?"

"How d'you pay for your phone bill?"

"Nevermind. Did you want something in particular? I'm a very busy guy, y'know. I was just making some festive Christmas decorations to get me into the spirit."

"Glad to hear it, 'cause you're coming to my Christmas party tonight!"

"I am?"

"Uh-huh! Five 'til midnight! Bring presents for people! And why don'cha bring some of those decorations you're makin' too. We can trim the tree! I love holidays… Oh yeah, leave your 'voices' at home. I don't want D-Boy depressing people. Bye!"

Johnny set the phone down, smiling slightly. He was going to a party. Which meant he had friends. 

"Stop it."

Johnny turned to find D-Boy behind him. "Stop what?"

"Enjoying yourself," the styrofoam display replied sharply.

Johnny got up off his couch and started toward the door.

"Where do you think you're going?!" D-Boy called. "I'm talking to you!"

"I'm going out. I need to buy some gifts for the party. And don't touch my festive-ie festive things of festivity."

Mr. Fuck laughed from his place beside Psycho Doughboy. "That'a'boy, Johnny! Have fun! Kill people! Bring me back a candy cane!"

"… Shut up, Eff. Just shut the hell up," D-Boy growled.

* * *

*RING!* *RING!* *RING!* *CLIKIK*****

"Hey, this is Joe. I'm probably off blowing something up or… something else involving explosives. Leave a message and your address, and I'll likely be by later to blow you up- er, I mean I'll call you back. Bye!"

Kris stared at the phone for a minute before hanging up.

"I hate answering machines."

* * *

One call to go. The call that was least likely to be successful. Unless…

"Hello!! You've reached.. *dramatic pause* an apartment! This is Tenna, how may I help you?" said the cheery girl into the telephone as she squeaked her little skeleton Spooky.

"Tenna! I'm having a Christmas party from five to midnight and I want you and Devi to come! You're the only one that can get her outta the house. You up to it?" came Kris's equally bright and sunshiny voice from the receiver.

"We sure are, right Spooky? *Squeek!* We'll be there! Bye!"

"Who was that?" Devi asked as she peeked her head into the living room from the kitchen.

****

"Christmas party!" Tenna said happily as she shoved Devi through the front door.


	2. Part II: Shopping

Part II: Shopping

****

Zim had managed to get himself up off the ground and was half running to keep up with Gir in the crowded mall.

"Gir, why did you agree to such a thing?! This place is so busy, we have no money, we'll never find our way out! Gir, are you listening? Gir?!" Zim yelled, his left eye twitching slightly as he followed the pint-sized android into a toy store.

"Uh-huh! We gonna go get some PRESENTS!!" Gir replied excitedly.

"Nngh…" Zim sat down on a small bench, exhausted, as Gir ran about the little store in a frenzy, knocking things off shelves and making small children cry.

"I'm gonna get this one, and this one, and this one, and- … no, not that one. This one, and this one…" Gir babbled excitedly as he yanked miscellaneous boxes from the shelves and tossed them into a large cart.

Zim sighed heavily and was about to get up and demand that they leave when he spotted two familiar faces right outside the store.

"Dib…" he hissed as he watched the large-headed boy and his sister walk past and into the gaming store next door. "What if HE's at this… 'party' as well?! I must be alert!"

Gir walked over to the bench, a huge sack in each hand, and grinned. "Aaaaall ready! LET'S GO!!!"

* * *

"Gaz, would you _please_ hurry?" Dib begged as he followed his sister around the gaming store. It was bad enough he had to miss "Mysterious Mysteries" tonight; being in the mall made things worse. He hated the mall.

"Shut up," his scary sister shot back as she picked up the latest hand-held console, the Game Slave 3¼. 

Dib gave up and turned his back to her, surveying what he could of the rest of the mall through the doorway. Suddenly something caught his eye: a green kid with a pompadour walking with a dog of the same color.

"Zim! What's _he_ doing in the mall?" Dib scratched his chin in thought, cocking his head to one side before realization dawned on him. "I bet he's coming to the party…! After all, why WOULDN'T Kris invite him?"

Gaz awoke him from his thoughts with a sharp kick to the back of the knee.

"OW! What was that for?!"

Gaz glared at him. "I'm done. Let's go."

* * *

Nny stared at the large double-doors leading into the mall and shivered. He couldn't _stand_ this place. So many ignorant and self-absorbed people… But he wasn't very good at making gifts, so this would have to do.

"I wonder who all will be there…" he said quietly to himself as he crossed the threshold, his head bowed as he made his way to one of those billboard-esque mall maps.

He stopped a few feet short of the map and stood stark-still, momentarily frozen in place. He had heard a familiar voice. A familiar _female_ voice. 

He lifted his head a bit and chanced a quick gaze, confirming his suspicions.

Devi.

Devi and her weird friend with the skeleton doll, only a few yards away from him. Fortunately, Devi's back was turned so she couldn't see him and run away.

Johnny hung his head once more and kept walking, forgetting to check the map. Seeing Devi again had gotten him a bit depressed.

_I wish I could just… go back in time and fix it to where that whole thing never happened… That was so stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid! _Nny smacked himself in the head a couple of times. _But I suppose I can't change the past… I've tried apologizing… But how do you apologize for trying to kill someone?_

Nny shook his head wandered into some inane shop called "So You Want to Collect Milk Cartons!"

* * *

"I just LOVE the mall! Don't you, Spooky? *Squeek!*" Tenna commented as she and Devi stopped somewhere near the center of the mall's first floor.

"I hate this, I hate this, I hate this…" Devi muttered, crossing her arms over her chest. "I don't want to go to this party…"

"Sure you do! *Squeek!*"

"No. I don't."

Tenna pouted. "Well why not? It'll be good for you! Get you out of the house for a change!"

Devi just glowered at her friend.

"Okeedokie, let's go buy stuff!" Tenna raised Spooky above her head like a sword. "Forward march!"

The two girls wandered the mall, picking up a variety of gifts, as they weren't really sure who all would be attending this little soiree. 

"Tenna…" Devi said quietly, looking up at the ceiling of "Candles, Incense, and Other Smelly Things."

"Yeah, Devi?" 

"… What if _he_'s there?"

Tenna turned to look at her friend. "You mean that crazy guy that tried to kill you?"

"Yeah, Johnny…"

"Well, um… er… I denno. You kicked his ass before. I'm sure you can do it again."

****

Devi bit her bottom lip lightly and prayed to whatever god was out there that Johnny was somewhere far, far away, and would remain that way.


	3. Part III: Unexpected Visitors

Part III: Unexpected Visitors

Back at the house, Kris was running around like the little crazy person she was, scrambling to get things ready while Akira watched amusedly from the couch. 

"Gotta get stuff all Christmas-ie, gotta hurry, gotta hurry, gotta... gotta…" Kris stopped her rushing and just stood there for a minute, her face a mask of thought.

"'Gotta' get things ready," Akira supplied.

"YES! Gotta get ready!" 

Akira snickered quietly as Kris hurried upstairs and out of sight.

*BZZZZRING!*

Akira groaned, got up from the couch, and made her way over to the door.

"Who is it?" she asked, peering through the peek-hole but not really seeing anyone.

"I-it's Todd…" came the very small and quiet reply.

Akira raised an eyebrow and opened the door to find a small, wide-eyed boy, clutching an old teddy bear to his chest.

"Who is it, 'Kira?" Kris inquired as she came back downstairs.

Akira gave a small shrug and moved aside, which caused Kris's eyes to light up immediately and her to drop the box of decorations in her arms.

"Squee!!!" she cried happily as she came to the door and led the little boy inside.

Squee gave a feeble smile. "Hi, Kris…"

Akira shut the door and the three moved into the living room where they all had a seat.

"What brings you over here, Squeegee?" Kris asked as she offered him a toe-shaped cookie with the word "MISTLE" written on it in green frosting. 

"I wanted to wish you a merry Christmas and give you this…" Squee said quietly as he set the cookie down on the coffee table and pulled a little kitty plush from his backpack and handed it to her.

"Awww, lookit the cute lil' kitty!" 

Todd smiled happily as Kris cuddled the kitty and kissed it and practically choked it, remembering why he didn't get her a REAL kitty.

Suddenly, there was a loud bang from the hall, like someone pounding relentlessly on the front door.

The three stared, confused, at the archway leading into the hallway as there was a splintering CRRAAAACK! sound followed by a girly squeal. Soon after, a little striped doll ran through the archway and stopped a few feet from the living room, staring at its inhabitants. 

Todd "squee"ed and hid behind Kris as another "person" came up behind the doll; it was a little girl with blonde hair and pale skin, dressed all in black and dragging a dead kitty beside her by the tail.

"Umm… Is this Spooky Land?" the little girl asked.

"I _told _you we should've taken a right at that last headstone…" the doll mumbled.

"Oh, be quiet, Ragamuffin."

Kris and Akira just stared at the two unexpected visitors, not really knowing what to say to a dead-looking girl and an animated doll.

"… I guess this _isn't_ Spooky Land then. Ooh, cookies!" the girl exclaimed as she ran over to the big bowl of Christmas cookies on the coffee table and starting shoveling them into her mouth.

"Now Lenore, that's not very polite!" the doll, Ragamuffin, reprimanded as he, too, made his way to the table.

"… Hi, I'm Kris!" Kris finally spoke up, introducing herself. "And these two are Akira and Squ- I mean Todd."

"Ah'm L'nore," the girl said through a mouthful of cookie. She swallowed. "And this is Ragamuffin."

Ragamuffin waved.

"Wanna stay for my Christmas party?" Kris inquired all smiley-like.

"Party? Sure!"

"Yay!"

****

Akira glared at Kris for a couple minutes before picking up one of the small pillows beside her and throwing it at her friend's head. "Moron."


	4. Part IV: Fun with Transportation

Part IV: Fun with Transportation

"We can't walk the whole way…" Zim muttered to himself as he watched Gir wrap the gifts they'd gotten in toilet paper and bacon. "And there's no way I'm going on that horrid BUS again… Hrm…"

"HITCHHIKE!" Gir cried, forgetting his wrapping and launching himself at Zim's head. "LET'S HITCHHIKE!"

"Hitchhike…? What is this.. 'hitchhike'? Computer!"

"Yes, Sir!" came the obedient reply from… the ceiling.

"Computer, define 'hitchhike.'"

"Processing… PROCESSING!!! … Hitchhike: to travel by securing free rides from passing vehicles."

Zim scratched his chin. "You're telling me this involves getting into the automobiles of strangers and having them transport you to the desired location…?"

Gir grinned, his tongue hanging out of his mouth, and nodded. "Uh-huh!"

"… No."

Gir's grin was replaced by an equally cute pout. "Awww…"

"But how are we going to get there…? We can't take the Voot Cruiser…"

"I know, I know!" Gir was all smiles again. "Car pool!"

Zim frowned. "Computer, define 'car pool.'"

The computer beeped loudly and made some kinda annoying whirry noise. "Car pool: an arrangement in which a group of people commute together by car."

"That might work… But who do we know that has a normal Earth-vehicle?"

"What about Dib?" Gir suggested. "He has a big head."

"The Dib-human?! NEVER! Never would the AMAZING ZIM ride with a COMMON EARTH STINKMONKEY!!!"

"But.. but… His head!"

"No, Gir. No car pool."

"Aw man…"

* * *

"Come, ON, Dib! We're gonna be late!" Gaz demanded, glaring at her brother as he fiddled with the VCR.

"Yes, son, it's very unprofessional to be late," commented Professor Membrane. 

"It's only a CHRISTMAS PARTY! And I'm almost done. There's no way I'm leaving without the VCR set to record 'Mysterious Mysteries.' Tonight they're doing a special on elves!" Dib got to his feet and joined his sister and father at the door.

"All right, everyone out to the car now," Membrane instructed as he opened the door.

Dib blinked as he peered outside. There was a green skinned, pompadour-ed kid with a dog on his doorstep. "YOU!"

"Yes, yes, it is I! The amazing ZIM!" the kid replied.

"What do _you_ want, alien dirtbag?!"

"I request permission to ride with you to Kris's house." Zim's fists were clenched at his sides to keep him from reaching out and strangling the large-headed boy.

"HA! No wa-"

"Son, it's not very polite to call your little foreign friend a dirtbag," Membrane interrupted before shifting his gaze to Zim. "Of course you can ride with us."

Zim flashed Dib a triumphant grin as he followed Gaz into the Professor's car, taking a seat in the back while Gaz took the front passenger seat, a sack of gifts in her lap and her new GS 3¼ in her hands.

Dib climbed into the back as well, the only thing separating him from Zim being Gir in his little green doggy suit.

"CHICKEN!" the poorly disguised android exclaimed, giggling. "I'm gonna eat you!"

"Gir! Shh!" the even more poorly disguised alien whispered frantically, but Professor Membrane was talking to some of his lab assistants through a tiny microphone and Gaz was busy with the newest installment of "Vampire Piggy Hunter."

There was a small roar as the car came to life, and then they were off.

"You can't keep up this pathetic façade for much longer, Zim," Dib sneered. "I've almost got enough evidence to expose you for what you truly are! You'll be locked up and observed for a while, then they'll throw you on the autopsy table. I'll be a hero! Dib, Savior of the World! The one who stopped the alien invasion!"

"You're bluffing," Zim replied with much more conviction than he felt. 

"Maybe I am." Dib crossed his arms smugly over his chest. "And maybe I'm not."

Zim bit his bottom lip and turned to look out the window, which turned out to be a bad idea. He immediately turned back, a hand over his mouth as the nausea began to rise to the top of his stomach and into his throat.

"So Irkens can get motion sickness, eh?" Dib snickered.

Zim snatched the little plastic penguin Gir was playing with and threw it at Dib's head, his eye twitching. "Shut up."

"Hey!" Dib exclaimed.

"My penguin!" Gir cried, quickly reclaiming it as it ricocheted off Dib's head.

The three heard a low, feral growl from the front seat.

"All of you, shut up. Your noise is distracting me," Gaz commanded.

And that pretty much killed any thoughts of conversation for the remainder of the ride.

* * *

Nny glanced up at the clock. 4:48. Time to leave. Perfect timing too; he'd just finished wrapping all the gifts and putting his festive-ie decorations in a large box.

He laid the gifts gently on top of the decorations, even thought he didn't really think they would break, and got to his feet.

"Well, I'm going now. I'll be back sometime later," he called to the doughboys and what remained of Nailbunny, who hadn't spoken in a while.

"NO! Johnny, wait!"

Nny turned to see D-Boy.

"You can't go!" called the depressing styrofoam display. "Those people will only ridicule you! Call you names, make fun of the way you dress! Stay here and do something constructive, like killing yourself!"

"Leave him alone!" called Mr. Eff. "Let the boy have his fun! Go on, Johnny! This party will be the perfect place for some nice, unadulterated murder!"

Nny glared at the two doughboys. "No. I'm not staying here and killing myself, and no, I'm not going to the party to kill people. I'm going to be more careful this time… I'm going to give these people a chance to be my friends."

And with that, Johnny walked out, closing the door behind him.

"Let's see…" he said to himself as he fished around in his pockets for his keys. "There we go."

With keys in hand, he climbed into the old, beat-up blue car he'd had for who knows how long, set his box in the passenger seat, and started the engine.

"Tonight… Tonight will be a good night," he told himself sternly. "It will."

He pressed down on the gas pedal and was off, cruising at a moderate speed through the neighborhood. After all, it'd been a while since he'd driven and he needed to get used to it again.

After about ten minutes, now in the neighborhood next-door, he spotted two figures standing on the side of the road next to a stationary car, trying to flag down a ride.

_It can't be…_ he thought as he peered through the windshield. _Can it…?_

As he got closer, he definitely recognized the two hitchhikers.

And as luck would have it, one of them was turned the other way.

* * *

"Yay! Here we go! *Squeeeeek!*" Tenna said cheerily as she pulled out of the apartment complex's parking lot.

"I can't believe you talked me into this…" Devi grumbled, folding her arms crossly over her chest.

"It'll be fun! There'll be presents, and egg nog, and… presents!"

"Please… shut up and drive before I hurl myself out the window."

"Gee, you're no fun."

So Tenna drove in silence.

… For about three minutes.

"Look, a squirrel! Isn't it cute, Spooky! *Squeek!* and that other squirrel! *Squeeeek!!* And *THUMP* … Oops, sorry squirrel."

"Nngh… Are we there yet?" Devi inquired.

"Ummm… Nope! But- *BANG!* *Tsssss…* *Clikik* Um…"

"… Tenna, what was that?"

"Well, um... I think the radiator just busted."

"… Fuck."

The two climbed out of the car and Tenna popped the hood to check things out.

"Mmmyep, busted radiator."

"How would you know, anyway?" Devi asked her friend.

"Well, er… Just look at it. SOMETHIN' is busted. Might as well be the radiator."

"… So, what now?"

"We get to HITCHHIKE!"

Devi stared at her insane friend. "No. NO. I am NOT hitchhiking. No way."

"Sure you are!" Tenna said.

"Ugh…" Devi turned to survey their surroundings. They weren't _that_ far from Kris's house, but it was still too much to walk, and there wasn't a bus stop anywhere close.

"HEEEEY! Stop!" Tenna yelled as a white convertible drove by. "Come back! Grr…"

Devi shook her head. "This is ludicrous…" 

Tenna waved her arms around in the air as another car approached. "STOOOOOP!"

The car slowed to a standstill on the side of the road and Tenna opened the back door and shoved a surprised Devi inside before grabbing their presents and climbing into the front passenger seat (after handing a the large box that was there to the driver).

"Thanks, mister! We're goin' to Kris's house! Gee, do you know who Kris is? 'Cause, well, her last name kinda escapes me right now," Tenna babbled.

The driver just stared at her.

"Heeey, you look familiar."

Devi reoriented herself enough to shoot a glare at Tenna, then glanced at the driver and feared she would have a stroke. "JOHNNY!"

"Um… Hi, Devi," Johnny greeted quietly.

Devi pressed her back up against the right side of the car, panicking. "Tenna, what the hell were you thinking?!" She fumbled behind her for the door handle.

"Devi, please, wait a minute," Nny said pleadingly. "I'm not going to hurt you…"

"You expect me to trust you?! After what you did to me?!"

"Devi, please… Listen to me. I'm different now, I've changed. I promise I won't hurt you! Just let me drive you to Kris's and I'll stay away from you for the entire party, okay?"

"YOU'RE going to the party?!"

"Devi!" Tenna interrupted. "Please! Just let him take us there! He doesn't really seem like he's gonna hurt either of us."

"Fuck! That's what he seemed like that night! So kind and sweet and funny… Then he tried to KILL ME!"

Tenna looked over at Nny. "Just… drive us there, okay? Please? And…" She glanced back at Devi. "… fast."

****

Johnny nodded and they took off.


	5. Part V: Deja Vu

Part V: Deja Vu

Devi leaned up a bit to whisper in Tenna's ear. "Tenna… I don't recognize this place… Where are we?"

Tenna scrunched her nose up in thought, then looked at Johnny. "Hey, Mr. Johnny, where are we?"

Devi smacked her forehead and sighed. _I should've known she'd do that…_

Nny drummed his fingers absently on the steering wheel, glancing over at Tenna. "Don't worry, this is just a shortcut to Kris's. Well… er.. I think. I haven't been down here in a while, but… yeah. It's a shortcut."

Tenna turned to look at Devi and smiled brightly. "Johnny says it's a shortcut."

Devi glared at her friend, sinking back into the soft seat.

"Isn't this fun Spooky? *Squeek!* It must be the scenic route!" Tenna commented.

Nny raised his eyebrow in curiosity as Tenna waved the little skeleton toy around her head, squeaking it. "What _is_ that thing?"

"Ooh, that's right! You two haven't met! Johnny, this is Spooky! *SQUEEK!!* Spooky, this is Johnny!"

"Er… Nice to meet you…? And you can call me Nny, um… Devi's friend."

"Tenna," Devi muttered.

Nny glanced in the rearview mirror at Devi. "Um… What?"

"Tenna." Devi raised her voice a bit. "Her name is Tenna."

"Oh, well, nice to meet you, Tenna."

Tenna turned around in her seat to look at Devi. "He doesn't seem so bad."

Devi bowed her head slightly, thinking. _He does seem different… Like he did at the beginning of that night…_ She shook her head. _What am I thinking?! He's _insane_! He's probably driving us out to the middle of no where so he can kill us… I knew I should've stayed home._

Everyone jumped slightly when the car made an ominous sputtering sound and slowed down drastically.

"Oh dear…" Nny said quietly as he watched the speedometer. 

Tenna turned back around. "What happened?"

Johnny looked at her as the car putted a few more feet before stopping. "Well, it seems as if the car has… broken down."

"Ooh! I bet it's the radiator!"

Taking this as her chance to get out of the car and away from Nny, she shoved the door open climbed out, quickly putting quite a few yards between herself and the vehicle.

Tenna and Johnny both got out as well, Nny turning and leaning against the car as Tenna went after her friend.

"Devi, what are you doing?"

"Getting away from HIM!" Devi whispered harshly, pointing at Nny. 

Tenna frowned. "Devi… I really don't think he's going to hurt you. You heard him when he first picked us up. He sounded so sincere."

"I don't care…"

Tenna heaved a great sigh, grabbed Devi by the arm, and dragged her back over to the car, where Johnny was now looking under the hood.

He glanced at them as they approached. "I'm really sorry about this… I just.. I wanted to get you where you were going as fast as I could, and I guess I forgot to pay attention to the warning signs that the car was nearing break-down mode."

"Aww, don't worry about it!" Tenna said brightly, squeaking Spooky as she sat down in the grass. "Hey…" She made one of those "what the hell?" faces and reached into her back pocket, producing a cell phone. "What d'ya know!"

Devi stared at her. "You had a cell phone the WHOLE TIME?! What's WRONG with you?! God! We could've just called someone after OUR car broke down!" She snatched the phone away, flipped it open, and started dialing.

* * *

*RING!* *RING!* *RING!*

"'Scuse me a minute, folks," Kris said as she got up from the couch and went over to a phone hanging on a nearby wall.

She picked up it and put the receiver to her ear. "Yeeees? Oh, hi! Seriously? No kiddin'? Wow. She _what_?! Holy fook! Yeah, okay. Bye."

"Who was it?" Akira inquired.

Kris shrugged. "Wrong number."

She was about to sit back down when the phone rang again. 

"Hello? Oh, hi, Devi. Yeah, Nny's car kinda sucks. What? Oh, okay. Middle of nowhere? What street is that on? All right. Be there in a few."

She hung up.

"What's going on?" Akira asked.

"Devi and Tenna caught a ride with Nny after their car broke down and, oh man, you'll never believe this, then _Nny's_ car broke down! Ha! Isn't that funny?!" Kris burst out into insane laughter.

"… Er.. yeah… hilarious. Aren't you gonna go pick them up?"

Her laughter ceased. "But I caaaaan't… I hafta stay here and greet the guests! It's almost time for the party! Won't you go, 'Kira? Pleeease? PLEASE?!"

Akira got to her feet. "Okay, okay, just shut up."

"Yay!"

So Akira was shortly out the door and on her way to pick up the unfortunates, after a few nonsensical directions from Kris and a cookie hitting her in the head ("Don't look at me! It was Ragamuffin!"). 


	6. Part VI: While We Wait...

DISCLAIMER: Lenore, Ragamuffin, and Mr. Gosh all b'long to Roman Dirge. Kinda forgot to mention that earlier. Anyway, sorry for the major shortness on this chapter… I'm having major writer's block. I denno if I'll be able to put up a new AtGUS chapter today either. Sorry, people.

Part VI: While We Wait…

Kris sighed. "So bored… When're people gonna get here?!"

"I'm sure they'll be here soon…" Squee said timidly.

"Yeah," Lenore agreed, still stuffing her face with cookies. 

"Heeeey…" Kris said slowly as she looked at Lenore. "Why don't you and Ragamuffin go out and get s'more party supplies while we wait, since you ate most of them?"

"Okeedokee! C'mon, Ragamuffin!" Lenore grabbed the little vampire doll by his stuffed arm and hurried out the door, leaving her little dead kitty behind.

Once outside, Lenore paused as she let go of Ragamuffin, wondering where the nearest convenience store was.

The two walked down the sidewalk a ways and went through several crosswalks before they found a store that looked promising.

"The 24-7…" Ragamuffin read aloud as he and Lenore walked inside.

Lenore walked up to the counter and stared up at the man behind it. "Hey, Mister."

The man looked down at her. "Yeah?"

"Where's the party stuff?"

"The very back and to the right."

"Thanks!"

Lenore made her way to the back while Ragamuffin wandered over to the magazine rack and was about to pick up a bag of Señor Salsa chips when someone called her name.

"LENORE!"

She turned, only to find the absolute scariest thing she knew: Mr. Gosh.

"I've been looking for you all day!" cried the little beanbag man as he rushed towards her.

"AAAAH!" Lenore grabbed the chips, a bowl of cookies (yes, they have those at the 24-7, now shut up), and a twelve pack of soda, and ran for her life, ignoring the counter guy's protests that she pay for the stuff.

Ragamuffin sighed heavily and ran out after them.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the house, Kris and Squee had decided to pull out the old chessboard.

"I'm not very good at chess…" Squee mumbled.

"Aw, that's okay," Kris replied, smiling. "I'm not either."

So they set the board up, Squee being the white and Kris being the black.

"Allrighty, Squee, you move first."

Squee moved his center pawn two spaces forward.

Kris frowned and began muttering and wringing her hands maniacally. "Good move, my friend, good move… So clever… So clever… YOU CAN'T BEAT ME! NO! I WILL WIN!"

Todd "squee"ed and backed up to the arm of the couch, staring at Kris with his big, frightened eyes.

It was at this moment that Lenore chose to burst through the front door, dropping all the stuff and slamming and locking the door as soon as Ragamuffin was inside.

She leaned back against the door, trying to catch her breath before she slid down to a sitting position.

Kris snapped out of her crazy, competitive, chess-playing personality and looked over at Lenore. "What happened?" 

The little dead girl slowly got up and walked into the living room, plopping down in a large chair opposite the couch.

"Scary little beanbag man named Mr. Gosh…"

"What'd he do?"

"He loves me."

"Awww, isn't that cute!" Kris made one of those annoying kissy faces.

"Nooo…" Lenore shook her head. "He's scary and obsessive and.. scary."

*BZZZZRING!*

Everyone turned to look at the door.

"GUESTS!" Kris cried as she rushed to the door, unlocking it and throwing it open.

She frowned, then looked down at the little beanbag man on her doormat. "Um... hello."

He held out his hand. "I'm Mr. Gosh. Nice to meet you. Where's Lenore?"

Kris's frown deepened. "Lenore? I'm afraid I don't know any 'Lenore.' You must have the wrong house. Sorry!" She slammed the door in his face.

Lenore eeped as a loud rap sounded on the window behind her.

"LENORE! I know you're in there! I love you! I LOVE YOU!" Mr. Gosh's face was pressed against the glass.

Ragamuffin leapt up and pulled the curtains shut. "There."

"Man, this is kinda scary…" Kris said slowly.

"Hmm…" Lenore got up from her chair and ran into the kitchen, emerging a few minutes later with a six-inch blade.

"What're you gonna do?" Squee asked.

Lenore didn't answer, but went to the door, took a deep breath, and opened it.

"I knew you'd come to your senses! You can't deny your love for me any longer! You-" 

*CHK, CHK, CHK, CHK!!!* *THUMP!* "AIEEEE!"

Lenore came back inside, sans the knife, and shut the door behind her before she came back to her chair.

"Okay, he's gone," she said smugly. "Now who wants some chips?"


	7. Part VII: The Taxidermy, With an Importa...

Part VII: The Taxidermy, With an Important Message

DISCLAIMER: Whoo, I dun own the Taxidermy. Mmnope. Roman Dirge does. Praise him. Whee!

"Middle of nowhere.. If those aren't the most God-awful directions I've ever heard…" Akira muttered to herself as she puttered down the street in Kris's crappy old stationwagon.

She glared at the dashboard as the car jolted with a weird splooshy sound, one you wouldn't normally consider a good car sound, or a car sound at all.

"Don't even…" she threatened the evil little blue car as it began to slow gradually somewhere near what most would dub the middle of nowhere.

"Goddamnit, I said don't start with me!"

Then the stationwagon stopped (you are surprised, yes?). Close to the middle of nowhere. In the right lane.

Akira sighed and banged her head on the steering wheel several times, causing the horn to sound. Not long into her God-this-really-sucks-ass-head-bang-ie-thing, someone rapped loudly on the driver side window. She raised her head slightly to see a dark-skinned girl with an insane grin pressing her face to the glass.

She sighed and rolled down the window. "Hi, Tenna."

"Did your radiator bust?" she asked brightly.

"I… have no idea." Akira climbed out and Devi and Johnny came into view, Devi, of course, keeping her distance from the homicidal maniac. "You still have that cell phone, right?"

"Of course!" Tenna shoved her hand down into her pocket and pulled out the phone, managing to turn it on before it slipped from her fingers and shattered on the pavement below.

The two looked down at the broken pieces of plastic and whatnot which seemed to mock them in their broken-ness.

Nny came over to see what had happened, Devi keeping her place by Nny's old car.

"Well… That's not good."

Devi sat down in the grass and gave an exasperated yell. "That's IT! I give up!" She pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees. "I'm SICK of this shit! It's just a Christmas party! Why are we trying so hard to get there anyway?!"

Tenna frowned and walked over to her.

"Devi, it's a _Christmas_ party. Christmas. And you know what Christmas is all about." She knelt down beside her friend. "Presents. And if we don't go, we won't get any, so get your ass up and help us think!"

The two girls looked up as a large van slowed to a stop over by Akira and Johnny, and both got to their feet and went over when the driver's side door opened.

A tall man in a white lab coat that covered the lower half of his face got out and looked at them all.

"Car trouble, hm? Well, I've got some tools in the back."

Gir poked his head out the window. "TENNA!!!"

Tenna's eyes brightened. "GIR!!! Are you guys goin' to the party?!"

"Yep!"

"Ah, well then, why don't the three of you hop into the back? We're on our way there," the scientist said as he got back in the car.

Devi stared at the van incredulously. "… Did that little green dog just talk?"

"Come on, guys!" Tenna called, already in the van.

Devi and Johnny climbed in as well, though one of them rather hesitantly (bet you don't know who).

Dib turned around in his seat, staring at the three newcomers with a suspicious expression, and Zim had given up on trying to silence Gir to do the same.

"Who… are you people?" the little paranormalist questioned.

"I'm… *Squeek!* Tenna! And this is Spooky! *SQUEEEEK!*" Tenna replied happily. "This is Devi, my antisocial friend, and this is her crazy ex-boyfriend Johnny!" She gestured to the people on either side of her.

Devi crossed her arms over her chest and began to stare out the window uninterestedly as Johnny gave a small wave.

"… Right," Dib said slowly, turning back around as Tenna and Gir started an "interesting" conversation about tacos which no one else seemed to understand.

Zim continued to watch, although his attention was on Johnny.

_He doesn't look any too friendly…_ He thought to himself as he turned to face the front slowly, frowning. _I think I'll stay away from _that_ human worm._

So the over-crowded van made its way through the middle of nowhere and out the other side without incident, ending up back in town, and drove safely to Kris's house! That's kinda boring, isn't it? 

The group filed out of the van and watched as Membrane drove off, already talking to one of his labworkers via little microphone thingy.

"Well, we're finally here!" Tenna cheered as she ran over to the door of Kris's house and punched the poor little doorbell until the button popped out and the wires beneath began to spark and crackle.

The door opened a tiny sliver to reveal a hazel eye peering out at them before it swung open violently and Kris rushed out to hug Tenna tightly. 

"Aww, you guys are finally here! That's so great! WHY THE HELL DID IT TAKE YOU SO LONG?!" Kris practically screamed as she let go.

Everyone (well, except for Gir and Tenna) backed up a bit.

"Car trouble. And déjà vu," Tenna replied.

"Aww, how horrible!" Kris stepped aside. "Come in, people, come in!"

After everyone was inside, Kris motioned for them to have a seat.

Gir and Tenna sat in the same little group of armchairs as Lenore and Ragamuffin, Devi and Akira took a seat on one of the smaller couches, Dib and Zim taking the larger couch (with Gaz between them), and Johnny sat down beside Squee on the loveseat with a maniac smile and a "Hey there, Squeegee. How's it goin'?"

Kris stood before the large Christmas tree and silenced everyone with a loud "HEY! SHUT UP SO I CAN TALK TO YOU!"

"Now then, there is ONE rule for this party," she stated, glancing over her captive (heh, captive) audience. "GET ALONG. If you don't, I'll.. melt your face off… or somethin'."

Zim covered his face protectively, hissing.

"All rightie, the snacks are on the table…" Kris gestured to the large table next to the tree, piled high with a variety of foods that probably weren't good for anyone, "and as soon as everyone has had something to eat, we'll open presents!"

Gir gasped loudly and ran to Kris, hugging her gnawing on her ankle.

"NOOO! PRESENTS PRESSSEEEENTS!!!!" screamed the little android.

Kris knelt down and pulled him off. "I have taquitos, Gir… You want the taquitos yes?"

Gir stared at her, swaying in a trance-like state. "Yes… Taquitos…" He broke free of the semi-hypnosis and dove onto the snack table, devouring a fourth of its contents in one huge bite.

"Er… what if we don't _want_ any of that.. stuff?" Zim inquired, his imaginary nose wrinkled up in disgust.

If looks could kill, he'd be dead, 'cause Kris was glaring at him like there was no tomorrow.

"YOU WILL EAT THE SNACKS, AND YOU WILL **LIKE** IT!"

Zim shrank back into the cushions, frightened.

Kris cleared her throat, regaining her composure. "All rightie, dig in, ev'rybuddy!"

The crowd slowly got to their feet, approaching the table with caution. Well, except for Tenna, who was following Gir's lead. 

After all had had their fill (well, okay… Zim only _pretended_ to eat something, and all Nny had was a taco ((actually, that's prob'ly all it takes to fill him up.. so skinny… eek)) ), Kris made everyone shut up once again.

"Okay… And now, what you've aaall been waiting for… PRESENTS!" Kris threw her arms up over her head and smiled real big.

She was about to say something else when a soft, barely audible insect-ie sound reached the group's ears. She frowned slightly and turned to look at the tree.

Nny got to his feet. "Wait a minute.. that sounds like…" He pointed as a little roach peeked its head out from behind the fake pine. "MR. SAMSA!"

"Eee, a roach!" Kris ran over to an empty chair and crawled into it.

All of a sudden, there was a knock on the door. Akira, who was rather bored with the whole thing, got up to answer it, and when she opened the door, she was "greeted" by an odd man who seemed to have the head of a disfigured deer/horse corpse… thing.

Akira stared at him open-mouthed.

"Um, yes, I was wondering what the lot of you were doing and if you could quiet down a bit. All the racket is disturbing my work," the thing said politely.

"Er.. we're having a Christmas party… And.. okay, sorry for disturbing you… I think…" Akira stuttered.

"Christmas party?" It frowned.. well… I guess that's what it did. Kind of hard to tell. "But it's not Christmas."

"Yeah, well... Christmas Eve, close enough."

It stared at her. "… It's August."

"…" Akira looked at the thing for a moment longer before shutting the door and walking back to the living room, where everyone else was.

"Who was it?" Kris asked.

Her friend gave her an odd look. "… It's not Christmas."

"I know, you told me this morning. It's Christmas _Eve_."

"No, no…" Akira shook her head. "It's _August_."

Everyone stared at her. Even Mr. Samsa.

"… Whoops," Kris muttered. "I guess you all have to go home then."

Now everyone turned to stare at Kris.

"After all the shit I went through to get here?!" Devi yelled.

"Uh-huh. Now get out. All of you. Shoo!"

After realizing she wasn't joking, everyone (except for 'Kira and Kris) got up and headed out the door.

Once all the disappointed guests were gone, Akira turned to her friend and smacked her in the forehead.

"My GOD you're an idiot."

Kris blinked and watched 'Kira trudge upstairs to her room, then grabbed a bag of Señor Salsa chips and flopped down on the couch.

__

Fin

That's right! That's the end! Are you sad? Well.. umm… Sorry. But I was kind of running out of things to put in here. Anyway, now that that's out of the way, I can work on other stuff. And I kinda wanna write somethin' for somebody else, so, umm… I guess I'm taking story requests right now. And they don't have to stay in the Jhonen (or Roman) world either. E-mail me with all the info if this little request thingy appeals to you. Hmm… I s'pose that's about it. Go read Celestial Dark (it's in Originals Fantasy)… Or not. Welp, I guess I'll mozy (heh) onto some other fic. Thanks for reading! I love you guys!


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